Marriage is perceived to be a lovely relationship between a man and a woman. That is why single people would want to be married someday. Anyone could get married but staying married is not a simple thing. It takes sacrifices, patience and a lot of hard work. According to Kurt Smith, Psy.D., LMFT, LPCC, AFC, “Once we have made the decision that we have found the person we want to be with and commit to, the work begins.” Some people can even develop depression or anxiety because of the issues that come with it.
Then, marriage lasts for a long time that couples grew old together. But later came an era wherein, the longevity of marriage became short term already. And this is true up to the present. Nullification of marriage is now within easy access which enables a couple to take marriage as just a part-time thing. But for those who believe in partnership and love, declaring an end to a marriage is quite hard.
However, this is the reality of today. That is why you have to be super vigilant when it comes to identifying if the marriage is working or not. “If you have reached the point at which you truly believe that there is little hope that a fractured friendship or ruptured romance can be repaired, it is important to maintain your resolve and terminate the relationship for good,” suggests Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.
Below are simple indicators that will help you determine if your marriage is near over.
Living Like As If You Are Not Married
When one gets married, there are limitations, obligations, and responsibilities already. You are not accountable for yourself only but your spouse and children as well. But if you are behaving (or your spouse) like you don’t have someone waiting for you at home, then be alarmed. This only means that you still cannot accept your new lifestyle or simply, you are not yet ready for it.
Not Affected If Your Spouse Is With Someone Else
Being oblivious or not caring whom your partner is with only indicates that you care less about your relationship. There is no emotion, no attachment and this would only mean that your partner could just break free from you that easily.
Future Plans Without Your Spouse
Married people do life together. They dream and go for their dreams together. But from the planning of the future itself and it excludes your spouse just means that you have no plans of having a future with him or her. And in preparation, you usually include the people who are important to you and since you did not include your partner this only means that he or she is not relevant to you at all.
Sex plays a vital role in marriage. It is the couple’s way of expressing their love and affection to one other. Through sex, they connect and feel each other. And with that, a sex-less marriage only means that the marriage is far from its standard stability. The couple is not relating to each other anymore.
Making Financial Decisions Without The Consent Of Your Spouse
The husband and wife share practically everything. From the properties, children and up to the finances. Everything is being considered and discussed. And every decision should be made with the approval or consent of both parties. So, a decision is made and ruled out without the knowledge of the other, only means that the other party does not care about the other person has to say. He is just deciding for himself alone.
Having or initiating an affair with another person despite the legality of your marriage to your spouse is also a sign. Infidelity is only an indicator of having no respect, no consideration and no love for the other person. According to Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC, “Emotional affairs can even be more damaging than sexual ones.”
Opinions On Having Kids
If you two could not decide whether to have or not have kids, then be alarmed. A kid makes a family. It tightens the marriage and develops the bond other than being husband and wife. If one of you is not interested in having one, then he or she is not interested in leveling up your marriage.
Not Interested In Fixing Your Marriage
Now and then couples argue and fight. But for those people who want to make their marriage last, they resolve it even before it gets worse. But if the couple has no desire in fixing their differences, then it is another story. This only means that they don’t care about where their marriage would go.
Not Spending Time With Your Spouse
Making excuses not to spend some time with your partner is a sign that you don’t want to have quality time with her. So how much more with the rest of your life.
Not Going To Couples Therapy
Couples’ therapy is one way of resolving marital issues. It works for many. But if the other party is not interested at all, then, he is not interested in making your marriage work.
Therapy Is Not Working
If the treatment is not working at all or it even puts more issues into your marriage, then it is a sign that there is no other way you can fix your problems with your spouse.
No To Compromises
Sometimes problems can’t be settled that soon. Instead of forcing a reconciliation, compromise is a common idea. If the other does not agree to this only means that he doesn’t care and would want to end the relationship for good.
Contempt Toward Your Spouse
Your spouse is your partner. If you hate your spouse or bad mouth the person, then, it only indicates that you don’t treat your spouse as a part of you.
Not Listening To Your Spouse
Not listening to your spouse simply means that you don’t care at all.
Not trusting your spouse with secrets only means that you have no confidence with the other people. And this follows that you have no confidence in him in taking care of you for the rest of your life.
If a majority of these things mentioned are present in your marriage, then, it is on the way of being over. Otherwise, if you want to save it, at least seek the assistance of a therapist.