Counseling is not only for couples that want to save their marriage. Ironically, it is also effective for those who have decided to go through a divorce and would like to go through it as smoothly and as easily as possible for the couples and the family as a whole. Divorce can be quite distressing and traumatic, especially for children. “There is a plethora of emotions to work through, your living conditions are different, and even your daily routine has been completely altered. Life as you knew it will just never be the same. Healing from a divorce and eventually moving on with your life takes time and effort,” says Kurt Smith, Psy.D., LMFT, LPCC, AFC. It is primarily for this reason that a divorce counselor is available to guide each couple and family through a peaceful and healthy divorce journey.
Benefits Of Divorce Counseling
The process of divorce is complicated even for the partner who filed for the divorce. You may still feel sad, guilty, and lonely, even though you have come to realize that your ex-spouse was truly not for you. Here are some of the benefits that you will see when you hire a divorce counselor to mediate the process.
- A Better Understanding Of The Failed Marriage. Hiring a divorce counselor will make things easier for the children to understand why their parents need to separate. For the couples, the counselor is tasked to help each of you move forward, tackle life being single, or get into another relationship shortly. Knowing why your past marriage failed makes a whole lot of difference when you decide to marry again.
- Keeping Mental And Emotional Health Intact. When you are in a distressing situation such as a divorce, it is not uncommon to feel negative emotions, including depression, guilt, disappointment, sadness, and shame, among others. If these aren’t dealt with appropriately, they will definitely impact your mental and emotional wellness. With the assistance of a divorce counselor, you can cope with these emotions slowly and learn to let go of them through some useful tools that the counselor will walk you through.
- Preventing Children From Getting Too Affected. “Unfortunately, many kids will experience divorce as traumatic in part due to the parents’ fighting, blaming each other, while the kids are in the middle. This can go on for months, maybe even years. When children see their parents portraying each other as monsters, they experience the kind of emotional trauma that lasts a lifetime,” says Michelle Farris, LMFT. For the children, the divorce of their parents would most probably count as one of the most traumatic times of their lives. Parents become too caught up with the issues that they often neglect to consider how their children feel about the whole situation. Most kids sadly feel responsible for their parents separating when, of course, it isn’t true at all. This is yet another aspect where the divorce counselor can help with. The counselor has the knowledge and capacity to walk the parents by helping them protect their children from getting hurt and overwhelmed in the process.
- Making Sure That You Really Want A Divorce. “In many cases divorce isn’t a unanimous decision. One partner wants to end the marriage. The other partner wants to stay. This isn’t a good scenario for couples therapy,” says Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. Not all couples go through with the process. In some cases, one of the partners may realize that he wants to give it another try. This doesn’t work for everybody, though, which is why divorce for them is the best resolve for both parties. Talking to a divorce counselor ensures that both partners are 100% sure that going through with the divorce is the best choice for them and the whole family.
Divorce counseling can make a tremendous impact on the life of couples and children when it comes to managing the transition from being together to making certain modifications for the whole family. Keeping in mind the advice and pointers from the counselor will be extremely helpful, including believing in yourself to be able to bounce back and live a better life apart from each other, but with the same responsibility and love to show for the children.
Remember that whatever you’re going through, no matter how deep in the hole you are, you will get through it. If you think you can’t do it on your own, seek the help of counselors, friends, and other support groups who will make you a stronger and better person at the end of the tunnel.