I admit, I never imagined that raising a teenage daughter can become so challenging. I never thought that that once sweet, bubbly angel could make me lose my sanity. My daughter, Eve, turned 15 just three months ago. She used to be jolly and smart, but now, she started to display erratic behavior that affects the whole family. She’s not our only child. We have two others younger than her which makes it more complicated because her behavior affects them too.
Some say it is typical for teenagers to act out, but lately, her actions are affecting the psychological state of the whole family. My husband and I are always arguing because we both blame each other for the things we may have overdone or have missed to do. Her siblings are starting to question her behavior and get awkward whenever she’s around. I thought this could be a phase, but the stress it is causing our family is too much to bear, so I decided to get help.
Her Behaviors That Made Me Decide I Had To Do Something:
- She talks back in an undesirable manner. It hurts my husband and me whenever we feel disrespected. She doesn’t look us straight in the eyes and makes these annoying faces. I swear sometimes I want to slap her, but I know that is not the right way to confront the situation.
Savvy Psychologist, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, and Mighty Mommy Cheryl Butler says, “Model respect in your interactions with your tween or teen. It’s even more important in a parent-child relationship, because you’re the role model. And it’s not just the words. Tone and delivery count, too.”
- She gets irritated and yells at her siblings for no reason. There was a time that my youngest went up to her to maybe just play like they used to. She yelled at him and told him to get out of her room. He was only four! The look on his face stays on my mind, and it was heart-breaking.
- She hangs out with a group of peers who look like people you don’t want your daughter to be friends with, so I told her to stay away from them, but there are still times when she comes home past her curfew, and I know she was with them.
- She doesn’t go out of her room even on weekends when it’s supposed to be a family day. She’s always on the phone chatting with someone, and there are times when she locks the door when she knows one of our house rules is not to do it. “Teenagers know that they still need their parents even if they can’t admit it,” says Stuart Goldman, MD. “The roller-coaster they put you on is also the one they’re feeling internally.”
- My daughter seems to be a different person. As a mother, I know my child too well, and it pains me to see her changing into a complete stranger, and I don’t know what to do. “Part of adolescence is about separating and individuating, and many kids need to reject their parents in order to find their own identities,” says Nadine Kaslow, PhD.
A friend of mine recommended that we undergo online family therapy to address our problems. At first, I was hesitant because I used to have a solution to everything that comes up. This time, it is different. I am losing my mind, and I know I have to do something. I just can’t let everyone fall apart.
She may not like the thought of us having an online family therapy, but as a parent, it is my decision. I need to hear opinions from experts which could enlighten me to the things I did which contributed to her behavior. I am hopeful that this is the first step towards getting my precious daughter back