Every marriage goes through a bumpy road, and sometimes, it may seem hopeless because you have both grown so tiresome about all the issues that are thrown at your relationship. Before ending a once magical bond with your spouse, consider seeking professional help. “Couples therapy is designed to bring out the best in you and your partner, strengthening the quality of your relationship, as a point of balance, allowing you to deal with issues in ways that support you to grow as individuals and a couple,” says Athena Staik, Ph.D.
You may never know how much it could benefit you individually and as a couple. “[I]f we have the tools to understand, empathize, listen to and connect with our partners within and outside of conflict, we can have the fulfilling relationships that we were meant to have,” according to licensed marriage and family therapist Robyn D’Angelo.
Signs Your Marriage Will Benefit From A Couples Counseling:
- One Or Both Of You Are Having An Affair
You are in a relationship because you have committed yourself to one person. If you start to look for something from someone else, then there is something wrong with your marriage. Consider going to a couples counseling to sort out the issue.
- You Start To Feel As Though Your Partner Is Just A Housemate.
Eventually, the thrill and excitement in a relationship will be gone, but it doesn’t mean that it has to end, or you two have to stop loving each other. Couples counseling is beneficial to help bring back the spark.
- Sex Becomes An Obligation.
Although marriage is not all about sex, it plays a big part in keeping a couple together. Sex and intimacy are something that only the both of you share. If your sex life becomes dull, your partner will eventually feel the need or the emptiness in your relationship.
- Your Communication Is Poor.
Your spouse is supposed to be someone you can tell everything to without judgment. He or she should be the person you can run to whenever there is something you want and need to say, but if this is not happening, there is undoubtedly something wrong with your communication.
- Your Spouse Becomes Your Competition.
A husband and wife should be unbeatable. Your partner should be your teammate who will give you a helping hand when the going gets tough, but when he or she starts to seem like a competition, then there are issues between the both of you that needs to be addressed.
- One Of You Is Financially Keeping Secrets.
Keeping details about finances is as damaging as having an affair. It is somehow a form of cheating which can trigger trust issues. It will cause the husband or wife to think why his or her spouse would keep secrets about money. It’s as mentally tormenting as the affected party will ask a never-ending question of why.
- Your Life Is Mostly About Hoping Your Partner To Change.
Change is inevitable, but don’t expect that to happen to your spouse anytime soon. You have committed to him or she knows what he or she is like, and although he or she may have some unpleasant characteristics, changing him or her is a waste of time. The only power you have is over you, and changing someone is next to impossible. It has to come from their own will.
Sometimes, a couple will find it hard to see the faults in them individually and will only look at the mistakes of the other. Couples counseling is a great way to address issues that are sometimes taken for granted. Often, a relationship is slowly consumed by the small things that we didn’t think mattered. Seeking professional help would help a couple see clearly and decide whether what they have is still worth fighting for. “As individuals, we benefit greatly from learning skills to manage our emotions, cope with our inner critics and become assertive. The same is true for couples: Our romantic relationships also benefit greatly when we take the time to learn and practice the skills that cultivate connection,” says Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.