“It takes two to tango,” they say. What if the music faded, or one wanted to dance to a different tune? Getting into a relationship can be hard, but staying in one is the real challenge. A couple is composed of two different individuals that no matter how compatible they are, there are going to be differences and misunderstandings along the way.
Some couples are in the stage of their relationship where there are two doors opened. The first one leads to the door you originally planned with him, and the other one is a way out. Some couples may have no idea that their relationship is unstable and is on the brink of reaching its end.
If you feel your relationship is not going right, it probably is. Don’t guess and don’t make assumptions – do something!
You can’t solve a problem unless you acknowledge that there is a problem. Acknowledge even the simple and small things before they get big. “All couples can enhance their relationship by learning the skills taught in couples therapy,” says Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
What are the 5 simple signs that you need a couples counseling?
- Your partner spends more time on the phone. Unless he makes a living through his phone, he doesn’t need to be on it 24/7, and if he does, it only means he prefers what he sees and does on their phone more than you.
- He doesn’t reply to your messages. You see him always on his phone, but when you text him, it takes ages before you get a reply. This only means you’re not his priority anymore.
- He always goes out with his friends even though they’re chatting all day. It’s clear he doesn’t want to be with you as much as he wants to be with them. Why? That’s for you to find out. We spend more time with the people we want to be with because we want to.
- He doesn’t ask you out on a date anymore. Going on a date once in a while is healthy for a relationship. No matter how busy the two of you might be, there is just no excuse for not spending at least a couple of hours of your day.
- He doesn’t kiss you goodbye or he doesn’t kiss you when you get home anymore. We miss the ones we care about the moment they walk out of the room, and one of the most exciting feelings is to see them walk right in through the same door they got out.
Even these small flickering flames can cause the whole house to burn down, so have the courage to put them out while they’re still small. Every relationship is worth saving because you both invested in something once so beautiful. It doesn’t matter who gave more. You owe it to yourselves to try to make it work. Acknowledge the problem and work it out together.
Figure out what’s causing these flickers and compromise. Attend a couples counseling because sometimes, you just both need to hear it from someone outside of the box to understand the bigger picture. “Couples therapy is designed to bring out the best in you and your partner, strengthening the quality of your relationship, as a point of balance, allowing you to deal with issues in ways that support you to grow as individuals and a couple,” says Athena Staik, Ph.D.
“Your local mental health association, family doctor, clergy or friends are good referral sources. Look for someone whose education and training best fits your needs and situation. Make sure your chosen therapist is licensed by the state or accredited by a professional organization,” advised by Jane Framingham, Ph.D.
Do you still dance when the music fades? Yes, you should! If the music fades or even stops, make your own, and remember how good and happy you were.