SBFoley PHD

Since the start of the year 2020, there are a lot of disasters that the world experienced only in its first quarter. There is the sudden eruption of Taal Volcano, Australian and Amazon bushfire, earthquakes in Turkey and the Caribbean, devastating floods in Indonesia, Ukrainian jetliner crash in Iran, and communal riots in Delhi. But the worst phenomenon that until now the world keeps on battling is the spread of the Coronavirus.

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What Started All Of This?

It has been almost half a year since the outbreak started in China last 2019 of November. It was believed to originate from a small market that supplies all kinds of animals, endangered and domestic, that was served for human consumption. The Coronavirus, in particular, was believed to come from bats. That is why when people found out that a restaurant offered a soup with bats on it, they immediately assumed it was the first case of COVID-19.

From then on, the spread went through different countries, infecting and killing different people worldwide. It was seemed like an isolated incident at first affecting a few couples of individuals in a particular province of Wuhan, China. However, the virus’s unnoticeable symptoms, unfortunately, spiraled into a global disaster. And the worst part, there is no cure for the spreading diseases yet. And people can only flatten the curve by practicing social distancing and frequent hand washing.

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Why Does It Cause Mental Torture?

It is physically impossible to go any reputable news source without hearing or seeing updates about the current state of the outbreak. People worldwide get bombarded with anxiety-inducing reports about the virus’s latest infection, number and death tolls. It creates mental torture because people can no longer think properly due to fear. There is the worry of getting infected and being unable to make it, and an emotional burden to infecting other people, especially an individual’s loved one. There is a concern about living life with uncertainty.

The global pandemic changed the lives of millions of people around the world and left them unable to do what they usually do. People are now trying to get by with the new normal. That is where they keep their mask on and sanitize their hands frequently. There is a restriction on how people should socialize as well.

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What Expectations Are There?

People are required to quarantine or socially distance themselves from others to stop or lessen the spread of the virus. However, not all individuals are eager to listen and follow such a protocol. Thus, the increase of COVID-19 related cases went up. However, some experts already pointed out that there is no way people would pay much attention to the virus spread because they are too focused on economic stability. Therefore, the option of stopping the disease may end up in horrific costs.

Way back in history, when the world suffered from a pandemic, the government’s health experts used to do nothing but to focus on finding a cure. That is because it knows people will never listen. That is where the term “herd immunity” originated. It is the process of allowing the spread of the virus (intentionally or not) to determine who are the ones that can recover from the infection without doing anything at all. It would be assumed that individuals who survived the virus would develop antibodies that will support the future advancement of the COVID-19 cure.

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Going back to the question “when will the pandemic ends?” the uncertainty is on its max level. Apart from the growing number of infections, there is still no sign of developed cure from the medical fields. Therefore, a convenient way to fight this global pandemic is to continue quarantine and social distancing until an effective vaccine can be developed.

Every marriage goes through a bumpy road, and sometimes, it may seem hopeless because you have both grown so tiresome about all the issues that are thrown at your relationship. Before ending a once magical bond with your spouse, consider seeking professional help. “Couples therapy is designed to bring out the best in you and your partner, strengthening the quality of your relationship, as a point of balance, allowing you to deal with issues in ways that support you to grow as individuals and a couple,” says Athena Staik, Ph.D.

You may never know how much it could benefit you individually and as a couple. “[I]f we have the tools to understand, empathize, listen to and connect with our partners within and outside of conflict, we can have the fulfilling relationships that we were meant to have,” according to licensed marriage and family therapist Robyn D’Angelo.

Continue reading Is Your Relationship On The Rocks?[Signs You Will Benefit From A Couples Counseling]

[Invest In Something You Want To Last]

Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and that means to put your 100% to it. Often, people get so caught up in the feeling of being in love that they forget a relationship is more than just rainbows and butterflies. There are several things to take into consideration especially if they haven’t been dating for a long while. “[I]f we have the tools to understand, empathize, listen to and connect with our partners within and outside of conflict, we can have the fulfilling relationships that we were meant to have,” according to licensed marriage and family therapist Robyn D’Angelo.

Continue reading Why You Need Couples Counseling Before Marriage

In life, both opportunities and hindrances to success are disguised in many forms. It is hard to figure out which is which because we may have grown used to a situation making us unaware of its impact on our lives. For instance, our behavior is based on our life experiences. We learn to change and adapt to our environment and the people in it.

It is sometimes hard to tell and accept our imperfections because we tend to compare ourselves to others making us ignore the faults in us. We may say, “He’s even worse. Why would I…” Sometimes, we ignore that we are emotionally unstable because the people around us make it seem like we’re all the same and ordinary. But yes, most likely when you are emotionally unstable, the people around you are, too.

Signs You Are Emotionally Unstable:

1. You Lie

“The most common reason for lying is to self-protect. There might be a real consequence or a perceived one that a person is trying to defend themselves against,” says Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC.

“Though shall not lie.” It is a universal code yet you ignore it.  There are instances when we tell little lies that has little to no significance at all, but when you are used to saying things other than the truth that sometimes it already confuses you about what’s real and what’s not, then there is absolutely something wrong with you.

“Pathological lying is something that has negatively affected many people, even professionals, who are often unaware of the psychiatric instability or personality disorder of the liar,” according to Támara Hill, MS, LPC.

2. You Are Anxious

“Anxiety is a reaction to a situation we perceive as stressful or dangerous,” Monique Reynolds, Ph.D., licensed clinical psychologist says.

You cannot relax and tend to always worry about things that you can’t really change. If you are tired, you rest. Never go rushing to that hasn’t seize to exist yet. Stressors are everywhere and being anxious is slowly being a trend. No one’s to blame because this world has trained us to adapt quickly to change, and sometimes, some people don’t just want to catch up, they want to be ahead.

3. You Cannot Decide

Decision making is happening every second of every day. It is up to us where we want to spend our time on, and some people find it hard to make choices, even the simplest one. Sometimes, we are caught up in a situation where we need to decide where to eat, and it stresses us if we cannot come up with an answer. Emotionally stable persons treat these little choices as it is, but when you are emotionally unstable, you make a big deal out of the littlest decision that you cannot make.

4. You Find Someone To Blame

Emotionally unstable people are most likely unaware of their flaws and weaknesses, or if they are, they think that they have a justifiable reason and that people should accept and adjust for them. They never take defeat, and they blame somebody else for everything that goes wrong. It’s as if they can never make mistakes.

5. You Are Always Online

Emotionally unstable people tend to rely their decisions and identity on social media. They seek approval from other people they do not know and ask for validation of their thoughts and feelings from someone who reads their post.

Being emotionally unstable is undeniably a hindrance to becoming successful in life, may it be career or relationship. When you think you have the signs mentioned above, maybe it is time for you to consider having an individual or online therapy through BetterHelp. (You can learn about the platform more when you visit their YouTube or Instagram page.)

It is never a wrong decision to better oneself. Who knows asking for professional help could be the first step towards obtaining the better things in life?

 

“Motherhood is all-consuming. There are parts of who we were before we had children that get lost. I voluntarily stopped work and embraced motherhood wholeheartedly. I felt like I had less value in society’s eyes because I only contributed within my own family.” This was the personal recount of a licensed psychologist named Kellie Edwards.

The role of the mother in keeping the family relationship healthy is vital. She is the keeper of the house and the wellbeing of every family member. They say that “A happy wife makes a happy life.” Yes, indeed! But it basically means that when a mother has a healthy state of mind, she is more capable of taking care of the household. 

 

According to a psychiatrist, the psychological health of the mother has the most significant impact on the entire family. If a mother is confident and lively, her family is more likely to develop a happy and bright perspective towards life. If a mother is grumpy and gloomy on the other hand, there is a high chance that everyone prefers to be anywhere else but home. “When you’re living with any kind of chronic or severe illness, like mental illness, diabetes or cancer, there are times when your functioning will be compromised by that illness,” said Joanne Nicholson, Ph.D.

 

Here Are A Few Simple Tips From A Psychiatrist For Mothers On How To Maintain A Healthy Relationship Inside The House: 

1. Cook a variety of food that will encourage the whole family to look forward to going home and having meals together. There is always something special when everyone in the family can boast about how good the food in the house is. Learn new recipes. With the vastness of the information we can find on the internet, mothers can choose from millions of dishes from all the cuisines worldwide.  
2. Keep the house tidy. If it’s possible, throw away all the clutter of the things the family doesn’t need. It is okay to be a hoarder as long as there is a designated place to keep all of it. Don’t pile your collections on the living room. Remember that not everyone is delighted to see the things you are fond of collecting. Keep everything in its place because an organized house will promote a more focused and clear mind. 
3. Don’t nag at your husband or yell at the kids. Mothers are understandably stressed most of the time, but it is vital that they know that peace and harmony in the house depend on their mood. If the mother is grumpy, it is likely that everyone will stay in their bedrooms and wait until she is calm. 

   

4. Invest in the family’s health. Be mindful of everything you prepare on the table. Make sure that you provide your family with proper nutrition, so everyone is not prone to illness. Health is wealth indeed, and when you are a mother, you know that this is the utmost priority. 
5. Make the house smell good. Buy air purifier or freshener. Good smell promotes a positive mood, therefore creating a comfortable and pleasant place for the whole family. It will also make everyone look forward to coming home and smell the relaxing aroma in the house. 

“In families, depression experienced by the mother has a key impact on the child’s well-being. In Finland, the maternity clinic system functions well, but attention should be paid to depressive symptoms among mothers over a longer period: from the pregnancy through to the end of the child’s first year of age,” says Dr. Johanna Pietikäinen. The behavior and personality of a mother are vital in determining the future of a household. Sometimes, mothers are too distressed and are unaware of the unfavorable effects of their offensive behavior on each of the family member. They should always keep in mind that mothers are not just housekeepers but are also responsible for the healthy state of mind of everyone under her care. 

In case you need psychological assistance, BetterHelp may be able to help you. Try downloading their app at Play Store or App Store now for faster transaction.

I admit, I never imagined that raising a teenage daughter can become so challenging. I never thought that that once sweet, bubbly angel could make me lose my sanity. My daughter, Eve, turned 15 just three months ago. She used to be jolly and smart, but now, she started to display erratic behavior that affects the whole family. She’s not our only child. We have two others younger than her which makes it more complicated because her behavior affects them too.

Continue reading I Had To Seek Online Therapy For My Teenage Daughter

  

 

When my wife confirmed that our son has some neurodevelopmental delay disorder, at first, I was in denial. Does this mean that my son is mentally ill? That was my first thought. He is crazy. Or is he not? What is wrong with my son? And why did he have this “issue,” as my wife would call it?

 

I work in another city and travel every week. I spend four to five days in my hometown where I work, while my family is in my wife’s hometown. We both decided that for security reasons, the kids should stay in “her” city since it is peaceful there and with fewer rebels or radicals. As for my birthplace, security is still in question, and I don’t want my kids to grow up with fear. I thought this was the end of my “problems” concerning our children. Oh boy, was I so wrong?

 

She said that our son, my Junior and our only boy, has Autism Spectrum Disorder. The second thought in my head is his “look.” My wife said that it is not Down Syndrome – that’s what I was thinking. Oh thank God, I thought he was like that. (Later on, I read that ASD is “Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a complex neurodevelopmental disorder that affects behavior, communication and social functioning. According to the latest figures from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, an estimated 1 in 68 children in the U.S. have ASD,” according to Latha Soorya, PhD, Laura Arnstein Carpenter, PhD, and Nabil Hassan El-Ghoroury, PhD.)

 

 

Learning About My Son’s ASD And How I Dealt With It

Autism Spectrum Disorder is a type of neurodevelopmental disorder in children which displays some delays in social skills, gross motor skills, and cognitive function – I have quoted my wife on this. The next thing we talked about was – is he crazy? My wife almost slapped me when I asked her that. She said flat out that our son is not crazy and will never be crazy. It’s just that he is different and unique. We need to support and assist him in all ways possible for him to cope with his disorder.

 

I’m not a bad father, but I just couldn’t deal with this reality. My guilt is killing me in all this because I know in my heart that I gave my wife a tough time when she was pregnant with our son. You see, at that time, I had a brief affair with someone from my university. My wife was angry all the time back then, and one reason is her pregnant hormones combined with her depression. (Prenatal and Postpartum depression is real. I read, according to Ellen J. Tourtelot, MD “It’s difficult for women who are suffering from untreated depression to come to their appointments. Establishing successful breastfeeding after delivery is also much more difficult if the depression isn’t treated before the baby’s birth, since women often give up a few days after birth if breastfeeding isn’t going well.” This happened to my wife and I reacted differently.)I didn’t understand her as I should have because I was selfish. I jumped at the first woman who showed interest in me, and that was me being too weak and fickle.

 

 

My Biggest Mistake

It only happened one time because I came to my senses, thank God, but my conscience wouldn’t let me sleep. When she learned of the affair, I made sure that she would hear about it after she gave birth, I felt relieved. It took a year for us to recover from my foolish mistake and now, the effect of that stupidity has presented itself once again. My wife was so distraught during her pregnancy, and I caused this to happen to our son. I managed to give him his disorder. It was my fault, all of it.

 

I told my shrink about my feelings, and he said that I needed to clear the air with my wife. And so, I asked her to come with me during my counseling session and laid it all out. She told me that things happened in our life that we are not happy about, but there is no point going backward. Oh, I love her for saying the right things all the time. I just hope that she will never, ever leave me – I hope she never realizes how foolish of a man I am.

 

My wife reassured me that it’s not my fault, but it is here now. Our son needs both of us so that he can live a fulfilling and regular adult life. We had to bring him to a speech therapist, educational therapist, and occupational therapist for an assessment. Money is also an issue for us, but this is important. We had to tighten our belt to allocate for his therapy sessions. (I learned that my son badly needed the therapy. “There are also times where families are interested in finding out why their child may not be thriving in their academic, social, or home environment. Being able to provide assessment in the cognitive, academic, and socio-emotional domains is another important aspect of my work with families,” says Matthew Roth, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist.

 

As a father, I am trying my best. I mean, what else can I do, right? My heart and soul wishes for our son to grow up a better person, and if therapy can help with that, then, so be it. If this will make up for my mistakes, then, I will have to make an effort for him and our family.