Is Your Relationship On The Rocks?[Signs You Will Benefit From A Couples Counseling]

Every marriage goes through a bumpy road, and sometimes, it may seem hopeless because you have both grown so tiresome about all the issues that are thrown at your relationship. Before ending a once magical bond with your spouse, consider seeking professional help. “Couples therapy is designed to bring out the best in you and your partner, strengthening the quality of your relationship, as a point of balance, allowing you to deal with issues in ways that support you to grow as individuals and a couple,” says Athena Staik, Ph.D.

You may never know how much it could benefit you individually and as a couple. “[I]f we have the tools to understand, empathize, listen to and connect with our partners within and outside of conflict, we can have the fulfilling relationships that we were meant to have,” according to licensed marriage and family therapist Robyn D’Angelo.

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Why You Need Couples Counseling Before Marriage

[Invest In Something You Want To Last]

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Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and that means to put your 100% to it. Often, people get so caught up in the feeling of being in love that they forget a relationship is more than just rainbows and butterflies. There are several things to take into consideration especially if they haven’t been dating for a long while. “[I]f we have the tools to understand, empathize, listen to and connect with our partners within and outside of conflict, we can have the fulfilling relationships that we were meant to have,” according to licensed marriage and family therapist Robyn D’Angelo.

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Signs You Are An Emotionally Unstable Person

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In life, both opportunities and hindrances to success are disguised in many forms. It is hard to figure out which is which because we may have grown used to a situation making us unaware of its impact on our lives. For instance, our behavior is based on our life experiences. We learn to change and adapt to our environment and the people in it.

It is sometimes hard to tell and accept our imperfections because we tend to compare ourselves to others making us ignore the faults in us. We may say, “He’s even worse. Why would I…” Sometimes, we ignore that we are emotionally unstable because the people around us make it seem like we’re all the same and ordinary. But yes, most likely when you are emotionally unstable, the people around you are, too.

Signs You Are Emotionally Unstable:

  1. You Lie

“The most common reason for lying is to self-protect. There might be a real consequence or a perceived one that a person is trying to defend themselves against,” says Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC.

“Though shall not lie.” It is a universal code yet you ignore it.  There are instances when we tell little lies that has little to no significance at all, but when you are used to saying things other than the truth that sometimes it already confuses you about what’s real and what’s not, then there is absolutely something wrong with you.

“Pathological lying is something that has negatively affected many people, even professionals, who are often unaware of the psychiatric instability or personality disorder of the liar,” according to Támara Hill, MS, LPC.

  1. You Are Anxious

“Anxiety is a reaction to a situation we perceive as stressful or dangerous,” Monique Reynolds, Ph.D., licensed clinical psychologist says.

You cannot relax and tend to always worry about things that you can’t really change. If you are tired, you rest. Never go rushing to that hasn’t seize to exist yet. Stressors are everywhere and being anxious is slowly being a trend. No one’s to blame because this world has trained us to adapt quickly to change, and sometimes, some people don’t just want to catch up, they want to be ahead.

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  1. You Cannot Decide

Decision making is happening every second of every day. It is up to us where we want to spend our time on, and some people find it hard to make choices, even the simplest one. Sometimes, we are caught up in a situation where we need to decide where to eat, and it stresses us if we cannot come up with an answer. Emotionally stable persons treat these little choices as it is, but when you are emotionally unstable, you make a big deal out of the littlest decision that you cannot make.

  1. You Find Someone To Blame

Emotionally unstable people are most likely unaware of their flaws and weaknesses, or if they are, they think that they have a justifiable reason and that people should accept and adjust for them. They never take defeat, and they blame somebody else for everything that goes wrong. It’s as if they can never make mistakes.

  1. You Are Always Online

Emotionally unstable people tend to rely their decisions and identity on social media. They seek approval from other people they do not know and ask for validation of their thoughts and feelings from someone who reads their post.

Being emotionally unstable is undeniably a hindrance to becoming successful in life, may it be career or relationship. When you think you have the signs mentioned above, maybe it is time for you to consider having an individual or online therapy through BetterHelp. (You can learn about the platform more when you visit their YouTube or Instagram page.)

It is never a wrong decision to better oneself. Who knows asking for professional help could be the first step towards obtaining the better things in life?

Tips From A Psychiatrist: Simple Ways Mothers Can Keep The Family Relationship Tight

 

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“Motherhood is all-consuming. There are parts of who we were before we had children that get lost. I voluntarily stopped work and embraced motherhood wholeheartedly. I felt like I had less value in society’s eyes because I only contributed within my own family.” This was the personal recount of a licensed psychologist named Kellie Edwards.

The role of the mother in keeping the family relationship healthy is vital. She is the keeper of the house and the wellbeing of every family member. They say that “A happy wife makes a happy life.” Yes, indeed! But it basically means that when a mother has a healthy state of mind, she is more capable of taking care of the household. 

 

According to a psychiatrist, the psychological health of the mother has the most significant impact on the entire family. If a mother is confident and lively, her family is more likely to develop a happy and bright perspective towards life. If a mother is grumpy and gloomy on the other hand, there is a high chance that everyone prefers to be anywhere else but home. “When you’re living with any kind of chronic or severe illness, like mental illness, diabetes or cancer, there are times when your functioning will be compromised by that illness,” said Joanne Nicholson, Ph.D.

 

Here Are A Few Simple Tips From A Psychiatrist For Mothers On How To Maintain A Healthy Relationship Inside The House: 

  1. Cook a variety of food that will encourage the whole family to look forward to going home and having meals together. There is always something special when everyone in the family can boast about how good the food in the house is. Learn new recipes. With the vastness of the information we can find on the internet, mothers can choose from millions of dishes from all the cuisines worldwide.  
  2. Keep the house tidy. If it’s possible, throw away all the clutter of the things the family doesn’t need. It is okay to be a hoarder as long as there is a designated place to keep all of it. Don’t pile your collections on the living room. Remember that not everyone is delighted to see the things you are fond of collecting. Keep everything in its place because an organized house will promote a more focused and clear mind. 
  3. Don’t nag at your husband or yell at the kids. Mothers are understandably stressed most of the time, but it is vital that they know that peace and harmony in the house depend on their mood. If the mother is grumpy, it is likely that everyone will stay in their bedrooms and wait until she is calm. 

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  4. Invest in the family’s health. Be mindful of everything you prepare on the table. Make sure that you provide your family with proper nutrition, so everyone is not prone to illness. Health is wealth indeed, and when you are a mother, you know that this is the utmost priority. 
  5. Make the house smell good. Buy air purifier or freshener. Good smell promotes a positive mood, therefore creating a comfortable and pleasant place for the whole family. It will also make everyone look forward to coming home and smell the relaxing aroma in the house. 

“In families, depression experienced by the mother has a key impact on the child’s well-being. In Finland, the maternity clinic system functions well, but attention should be paid to depressive symptoms among mothers over a longer period: from the pregnancy through to the end of the child’s first year of age,” says Dr. Johanna Pietikäinen. The behavior and personality of a mother are vital in determining the future of a household. Sometimes, mothers are too distressed and are unaware of the unfavorable effects of their offensive behavior on each of the family member. They should always keep in mind that mothers are not just housekeepers but are also responsible for the healthy state of mind of everyone under her care. 

In case you need psychological assistance, BetterHelp may be able to help you. Try downloading their app at Play Store or App Store now for faster transaction.

I Had To Seek Online Therapy For My Teenage Daughter

I admit, I never imagined that raising a teenage daughter can become so challenging. I never thought that that once sweet, bubbly angel could make me lose my sanity. My daughter, Eve, turned 15 just three months ago. She used to be jolly and smart, but now, she started to display erratic behavior that affects the whole family. She’s not our only child. We have two others younger than her which makes it more complicated because her behavior affects them too.

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A Father’s Honest Words – When I Learned That My Son Has ASD

  

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When my wife confirmed that our son has some neurodevelopmental delay disorder, at first, I was in denial. Does this mean that my son is mentally ill? That was my first thought. He is crazy. Or is he not? What is wrong with my son? And why did he have this “issue,” as my wife would call it?

 

I work in another city and travel every week. I spend four to five days in my hometown where I work, while my family is in my wife’s hometown. We both decided that for security reasons, the kids should stay in “her” city since it is peaceful there and with fewer rebels or radicals. As for my birthplace, security is still in question, and I don’t want my kids to grow up with fear. I thought this was the end of my “problems” concerning our children. Oh boy, was I so wrong?

 

She said that our son, my Junior and our only boy, has Autism Spectrum Disorder. The second thought in my head is his “look.” My wife said that it is not Down Syndrome – that’s what I was thinking. Oh thank God, I thought he was like that. (Later on, I read that ASD is “Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a complex neurodevelopmental disorder that affects behavior, communication and social functioning. According to the latest figures from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, an estimated 1 in 68 children in the U.S. have ASD,” according to Latha Soorya, PhD, Laura Arnstein Carpenter, PhD, and Nabil Hassan El-Ghoroury, PhD.)

 

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Learning About My Son’s ASD And How I Dealt With It

Autism Spectrum Disorder is a type of neurodevelopmental disorder in children which displays some delays in social skills, gross motor skills, and cognitive function – I have quoted my wife on this. The next thing we talked about was – is he crazy? My wife almost slapped me when I asked her that. She said flat out that our son is not crazy and will never be crazy. It’s just that he is different and unique. We need to support and assist him in all ways possible for him to cope with his disorder.

 

I’m not a bad father, but I just couldn’t deal with this reality. My guilt is killing me in all this because I know in my heart that I gave my wife a tough time when she was pregnant with our son. You see, at that time, I had a brief affair with someone from my university. My wife was angry all the time back then, and one reason is her pregnant hormones combined with her depression. (Prenatal and Postpartum depression is real. I read, according to Ellen J. Tourtelot, MD “It’s difficult for women who are suffering from untreated depression to come to their appointments. Establishing successful breastfeeding after delivery is also much more difficult if the depression isn’t treated before the baby’s birth, since women often give up a few days after birth if breastfeeding isn’t going well.” This happened to my wife and I reacted differently.)I didn’t understand her as I should have because I was selfish. I jumped at the first woman who showed interest in me, and that was me being too weak and fickle.

 

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My Biggest Mistake

It only happened one time because I came to my senses, thank God, but my conscience wouldn’t let me sleep. When she learned of the affair, I made sure that she would hear about it after she gave birth, I felt relieved. It took a year for us to recover from my foolish mistake and now, the effect of that stupidity has presented itself once again. My wife was so distraught during her pregnancy, and I caused this to happen to our son. I managed to give him his disorder. It was my fault, all of it.

 

I told my shrink about my feelings, and he said that I needed to clear the air with my wife. And so, I asked her to come with me during my counseling session and laid it all out. She told me that things happened in our life that we are not happy about, but there is no point going backward. Oh, I love her for saying the right things all the time. I just hope that she will never, ever leave me – I hope she never realizes how foolish of a man I am.

 

My wife reassured me that it’s not my fault, but it is here now. Our son needs both of us so that he can live a fulfilling and regular adult life. We had to bring him to a speech therapist, educational therapist, and occupational therapist for an assessment. Money is also an issue for us, but this is important. We had to tighten our belt to allocate for his therapy sessions. (I learned that my son badly needed the therapy. “There are also times where families are interested in finding out why their child may not be thriving in their academic, social, or home environment. Being able to provide assessment in the cognitive, academic, and socio-emotional domains is another important aspect of my work with families,” says Matthew Roth, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist.

 

As a father, I am trying my best. I mean, what else can I do, right? My heart and soul wishes for our son to grow up a better person, and if therapy can help with that, then, so be it. If this will make up for my mistakes, then, I will have to make an effort for him and our family.

Things To Keep In Mind Before Going To A Couples Counseling

 

Things To Keep In Mind Before Going To A Couples Counseling

 

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People go to couples counseling before finally deciding to get a divorce and go separate ways. It’s their last resort in trying to patch up their relationship. In all fairness, it’s a well-meaning sign that there’s still hope in saving the marriage because that is the purpose of having a couples counseling. People call a counselor to set an appointment in the hope that they can at least have one last shot at making things right, maybe not to stay together but to break upon good terms.

For couples counseling to be successful, there are several important things to keep in mind. They are crucial in determining the result of the therapy, and you and the counselor are after the same goal out of your sessions – to get the best possible outcome. “[I]f we have the tools to understand, empathize, listen to and connect with our partners within and outside of conflict, we can have the fulfilling relationships that we were meant to have,” according to licensed marriage and family therapist Robyn D’Angelo.

 

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Keep In Mind These Things Before Attending A Couples Counseling:

According to marriage counselor Gary Chapman, “Each of us speaks a different “love language,” of which there are five: words of affirmation; acts of service; receiving gifts; quality time; and physical touch.” If you still love each other and want to make it work, couples counseling can help even if it will not be easy.

  1. Know that it is still going to be difficult. Couples counseling does not guarantee that the battle is going to smoothen. The counselor is going to help you go through all the issues that you couldn’t fix, and that implies that those are hard ones. Don’t expect that couples counseling will be a walk in the park.

 

Try asking yourself your main reason for wanting to have couples counseling in the first place. Prepare your mind for all the possibilities. Remember that the fight is going to be painful. Ask yourself why you are doing it so that you can remind yourself later on.

 

  1. Make preparations of your own. Clear your head with others’ opinions because they can influence your thoughts during the therapy. They will be like silent voices whispering in your ears, so free yourself from any of these by going to a place where you can clear your head.

 

Find your haven and think of the steps you are taking. Remember all your burdens, so you can pour it all once the therapy starts but also remind yourself of the positive areas of your marriage.

 

  1. Never hesitate or think that it will be a waste of time. Just know that the earlier, the better. Some people try to fix their marriage on their own, but sometimes, they worked for it long enough. They had waited for the time when it already seems impossible before they decided to seek couples counseling.

 

However, people don’t usually call a counselor in the second year of their marriage. They ask for help because they think of it as the final lifeline, and that’s okay. It doesn’t matter when you decide to seek couples counseling. What matters is that you did because there’s a part of you that somehow hopes for the better.

 

  1. Do your research and choose the best. Find a counselor you’re both going to be comfortable with during the sessions. Remember that he is going to have a critical role to play in repairing your marriage, and it’s something to be handled with a lot of care and precaution.

 

Find someone who is straightforward because you need to hear the truth, but make sure that he is not biassed because that’s the last thing you need. You want a whole and clear picture of the situation, not just someone’s truth, so make sure that you can figure out that the counselor is fair.

 

  1. Don’t hold back. You are seeking a couples counseling to try and fix what you can’t on your marriage, and that mostly consists of poor communication. There’s something that the both of you could not agree on, and you need someone to mediate for you. With that said, you need to be able to tell everything that’s inside you. Don’t sugar-coat your words. Say what you mean.

 

Never end counseling without saying everything. You know there would be some sleepless nights if you are not able to tell all. It is better to pour everything regardless of the result. You don’t want to bein a situation where you’ll be thinking “What if I said it? What could have been the outcome?”

 

  1. Listen! You are not attending a couples counseling just to pour all your burdens. You should know that you will be there to listen as well. It doesn’t matter who caused most of the problem in your marriage. You also have a part in it, so be open to all the things that you might learn from what you did.

 

People are good at blaming. Somehow, it’s their way of making themselves feel better, but if you are opting for a couples counseling, don’t go pointing fingers. Acknowledge everything that the other side has to say and listen and ponder. Never go into a defense mode.

 

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“As individuals, we benefit greatly from learning skills to manage our emotions, cope with our inner critics and become assertive. The same is true for couples: Our romantic relationships also benefit greatly when we take the time to learn and practice the skills that cultivate connection,” says Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. Seeking couples counseling is a sign that both of you still want to fix your marriage. You both believe that you could be better. It could be your last shot at saving not just your relationship but your wellbeing from falling apart, so make sure that you are prepared to give it your 101 percent.

 

Therapy For My ASD/ADHD Child

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The teachers of my son sort of pushed me to have him assessed by a neurodevelopmental pediatrician. A neurodevelopmental pediatrician is a specialist that engages in the interactive therapy of young children with issues like Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD, Tourette Syndrome, and other conditions relating to behavioral disorders, learning disabilities, and sensory deficits. They want me to subject my son to a doctor so that he can find faults in him – that was my thinking back then.

 

I Was The Difficult Mom

 

I raised my eyebrows at these teachers for implying that my son is disabled. He can walk adequately and talk reasonably well. I could understand his words, and it’s their loss if they can’t comprehend him. Sure, he speaks gibberish at times, but he is four years old! It is typical for kids like him to do that.

 

My son also loves going to school, and he has friends. If something was wrong with him, then he won’t want to go to school. He will not have friends. My son, if he was disabled in any way, will just stay at home.

 

What Made Me Bring Him To A DevPed

 

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That was me being difficult when his teachers asked me to bring him to a developmental pediatrician. But in Kindergarten, I was forced to do it. His Kinder teacher said that if my son was diagnosed with a condition (it’s like as if she was expecting it) and if I follow up with treatment, they are going to ladder him to the first grade even if he fails. I liked the idea and set up an appointment.

 

In the Philippines, we were residing there at that time for work-related reasons, and they only had a handful of neurodevelopmental pediatricians

“A Developmental Pediatrician is, first and foremost, a pediatrician — A doctor with specialty training in the care of children and certified by the American Board of Pediatrics, who brings a child- and family oriented perspective to the evaluation process. Developmental Pediatricians have additional training that focuses on the assessment and management of developmental problems,” according to James Coplan MD.

The Results Of His Test

 

 

The dev ped recommended various therapy programs to address his developmental delays and behavioral issues. I asked him if my son can function well when he matures, and his answer was a big yes. The dev ped assured me that with proper help, he is a high-functioning ASD person. Now, there was a label. My son is an “ASD person.” It hurt too much, but I had to be strong.

 

Treatment Programs For ASD/ADHD Kids

 

Speech Therapyspeech therapy, he was able to overcome the issue, and we ceased the program.

 

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Educational Therapy – My son had difficulty reading, and so he spent twice a week for six months with a learning specialist. He completed two reading courses, and I was satisfied with their assistance on my son. Right now, my son has a private tutor who helps him with his phonics, and he is assertively reading words on his own. It’s slow, but at least he has the confidence to do it.

 

Occupational Therapy – “The purpose of occupational therapy can best be described by the profession’s motto, “Occupational therapy: living life to its fullest.” All individuals have a right to live life to its fullest. An occupational therapist can help people consider not only their needs, strengths, abilities, and interests, but also their physical, social, and cultural environment,” according to Monica Jackman, MHS, OTR/L, CAPS. Last year, the therapy was three times a week. After a few months, it was decreased to twice weekly. Right now, almost a year after the first session, my son is seeing his OT every Saturday. The therapist is shaping his behavior, and the improvement is astounding. He doesn’t hit himself anymore when he gets frustrated unlike before, and he will try his best to control his hyperactiveness.

“There are three subtypes of ADHD – hyperactive, inattentive, or the combination hyperactive/inattentive. Sometimes children with the inattentive subtype, particularly girls, get overlooked for attention issues. They are the ones twirling their hair, looking out the window, daydreaming, clueless about what is going on. Be aware that not all children with ADHD have hyperactive or impulsivity features,” according to Joni Mahler, M.Ed., ET/P.

There’s a lot of things to help him with but with his OT regularly assisting, I am relieved.

 

A Piece Of Important Advice

 

When your child’s teacher tells you that your son or daughter must meet a developmental pediatrician, don’t doubt. Have your child checked as soon as possible. They will offer that advice because they know better, and as teachers, they are skilled to do so. Listen to them and don’t be stubborn like me. I could have helped my son when he was four, but I was too proud and postponed his treatment for almost three years. At least now, he is getting the treatment that he needs, and I am so grateful for the intervention.

 

Divorce Counseling

 

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“There is a plethora of emotions to work through, your living conditions are different, and even your daily routine has been completely altered. Life as you knew it will just never be the same. Healing from a divorce and eventually moving on with your life takes time and effort,” says Kurt Smith, Psy.D., LMFT, LPCC, AFC.

Nothing lasts forever, and even marriages that start out as a love-filled relationship between a husband and his wife can end in divorce. These days, it is seldom to find couples in their first (and only) marriage which lasts ‘til death. Divorce is so common, that in the United States at least 40% of married individuals break up permanently. Heartache is apparent, and even if one or both parties want the divorce to happen, still it is a painful life event to accept.

 

When you leave your spouse or partner, or if your spouse has left you, the emotions are too intense. It is not just painful; you will also feel grief, guilt, shame, stress, and anxiety, among others. If you two have children, the problem becomes more challenging. Divorce is never a walk in the park with the kids.

 

Couples Therapy Or Discernment Counseling?

 

With these possible complications, some couples resort to therapy just before they make their final decision. This time will be a trial period, and by then, they will decide if they want to stay in the marriage or to part ways. Discernment counseling aids in that service. Discernment counseling is a short-term therapy “designed to help couples on the brink of divorce gain clarity and confidence about deciding on a direction for their marriage,” according to Susan Lager, LICSW.

 

If couples decide to stay together, they will have to undergo couples or marital counseling. “Couples therapy is a positive, constructive opportunity to enhance any and every relationship, no matter what stage it is at. It gives you the tools you need to build a strong foundation, reach shared goals, and find lifelong happiness,” says Jane Framingham, Ph.D. This type of therapy program is to help them repair their personal issues for the betterment of their marriage. Now, if one of them or both the husband and wife want to cut their ties, it will be best to get involved with a divorce counseling therapist for help.

 

Reasons Why Couples Get Divorced

 

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There are many reasons why people get divorced. It can be minuscule or blown up – it really doesn’t matter anymore. Once they decide to divorce, time will get it done.

 

Here are some reasons why people sever their marital ties:

 

–    Early marriage and lack of commitment

–    Got hitched to the wrong individual

–    Problems with communication

–    Unequal division of responsibilities

–    Spousal abuse which includes physical, emotional, and financial

–    Unworkable expectations

–    Money troubles

 

Relationship Problems

 

John Gottman, a psychologist, reported along with firm shreds of evidence that relationship problems start with how the husband and wife interact with each other. He calls it the “Four Horsemen” and these things can lead to a divorce, if not repaired early on.

 

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  1. One spouse or both of them criticize each other to the point of insults and fights that bear deep scars.
  2. Disdain and utter disrespect can kill a marriage. Husbands talk with hatred to their wives and vice versa. This act is a difficult thing to undo.
  3. A defensive spouse or someone who doesn’t take responsibility for his or her actions can destroy their relationship.
  4. One spouse can also stonewall or sweep everything under the rug without having to fix the problems. How can an argument be settled when talking is not “allowed”?

 

Divorce counseling is offered for people who are in the course of getting a divorce. This form of individual psychotherapy can help some couples dissolve their marriage healthily and successfully without too much catfights and drama. A divorce psychotherapist can be a facilitator and can establish strategies to guarantee that the separation is accomplished with marginal aggression and emotional impairment. Counselors can also aid in dealing with relevant issues, like living provisions, economic commitments, and parenting duties.

Divorce Counseling: Making Things Easier For The Family

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Counseling is not only for couples that want to save their marriage. Ironically, it is also effective for those who have decided to go through a divorce and would like to go through it as smoothly and as easily as possible for the couples and the family as a whole. Divorce can be quite distressing and traumatic, especially for children. “There is a plethora of emotions to work through, your living conditions are different, and even your daily routine has been completely altered. Life as you knew it will just never be the same. Healing from a divorce and eventually moving on with your life takes time and effort,” says Kurt Smith, Psy.D., LMFT, LPCC, AFC. It is primarily for this reason that a divorce counselor is available to guide each couple and family through a peaceful and healthy divorce journey.

 

Benefits Of Divorce Counseling

The process of divorce is complicated even for the partner who filed for the divorce. You may still feel sad, guilty, and lonely, even though you have come to realize that your ex-spouse was truly not for you. Here are some of the benefits that you will see when you hire a divorce counselor to mediate the process.

  • A Better Understanding Of The Failed Marriage. Hiring a divorce counselor will make things easier for the children to understand why their parents need to separate. For the couples, the counselor is tasked to help each of you move forward, tackle life being single, or get into another relationship shortly. Knowing why your past marriage failed makes a whole lot of difference when you decide to marry again.

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  • Keeping Mental And Emotional Health Intact. When you are in a distressing situation such as a divorce, it is not uncommon to feel negative emotions, including depression, guilt, disappointment, sadness, and shame, among others. If these aren’t dealt with appropriately, they will definitely impact your mental and emotional wellness. With the assistance of a divorce counselor, you can cope with these emotions slowly and learn to let go of them through some useful tools that the counselor will walk you through.

 

  • Preventing Children From Getting Too Affected. “Unfortunately, many kids will experience divorce as traumatic in part due to the parents’ fighting, blaming each other, while the kids are in the middle. This can go on for months, maybe even years. When children see their parents portraying each other as monsters, they experience the kind of emotional trauma that lasts a lifetime,” says Michelle Farris, LMFT. For the children, the divorce of their parents would most probably count as one of the most traumatic times of their lives. Parents become too caught up with the issues that they often neglect to consider how their children feel about the whole situation. Most kids sadly feel responsible for their parents separating when, of course, it isn’t true at all. This is yet another aspect where the divorce counselor can help with. The counselor has the knowledge and capacity to walk the parents by helping them protect their children from getting hurt and overwhelmed in the process.

 

  • Making Sure That You Really Want A Divorce. “In many cases divorce isn’t a unanimous decision. One partner wants to end the marriage. The other partner wants to stay. This isn’t a good scenario for couples therapy,” says Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. Not all couples go through with the process. In some cases, one of the partners may realize that he wants to give it another try. This doesn’t work for everybody, though, which is why divorce for them is the best resolve for both parties. Talking to a divorce counselor ensures that both partners are 100% sure that going through with the divorce is the best choice for them and the whole family.

Vital Reminders

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Divorce counseling can make a tremendous impact on the life of couples and children when it comes to managing the transition from being together to making certain modifications for the whole family. Keeping in mind the advice and pointers from the counselor will be extremely helpful, including believing in yourself to be able to bounce back and live a better life apart from each other, but with the same responsibility and love to show for the children.

Remember that whatever you’re going through, no matter how deep in the hole you are, you will get through it. If you think you can’t do it on your own, seek the help of counselors, friends, and other support groups who will make you a stronger and better person at the end of the tunnel.