When you have children, and they turned 10, all you want is for them to grow up. You keep envisioning their life. You think of what they’re going to be, what school they’re going to go to, and what age you’re allowing them to date.
There are times when kids would say something odd that they have experienced in school or ask about something that is new to them. Do you remember how you reacted? Do you recall how you responded?
Parents tend to overact when it comes to their kids, especially when they reach their teenage years. More often than not, adolescent years are the hardest years to deal with. “A few simple changes to your parenting strategies could give your child the tools he needs to manage his behavior more effectively,” suggests Amy Morin, LCSW.
Yes, being parents of a teenager is hard! Teenage years are the times when a person is struggling to exist in all aspects of life: physically, emotionally, psychologically, or spiritually. At this stage, some teenagers rebel because of different reasons.
As parents, it is crucial that we understand our teens. We must be able to identify the source of their rebellion, if there is any, and act from there. Don’t overreact and don’t generalize. Teens are different from each other. Avoid listening to other parents for advice. You know your teens better than anyone.
Reasons for Teen Rebellion and How to Deal with Them
We are all going to experience an identity crisis in our lives. It could be a struggle to be like our parents, our siblings, our friends, or someone we see on the TV. Your teen may be confused about his own identity.
At this stage, make sure to support him in his interests. Don’t force him to do something he doesn’t like. Make him decide how he wants to portray himself, but make sure that you are there to tell him what’s right and what’s not. “Parenting well in today’s social climate requires even more patience, vigilance, and involvement than when your children were toddlers,” says Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.
Following an identity crisis, it is essential for a teenager to belong. At this stage, your teen would struggle to be accepted, and this is the time when he would choose his circle of friends. To make sure he doesn’t go with the wrong company, be there for him. Reassure him that you will still accept him no matter what, and as much as he wants to have friends, he will have a family where he will always belong.
One reason for teen rebellion is the lack of attention. Parents tend to be busy making a living that they forget to give time to their teens. It is a crucial time to attend to them and provide guidance on how to deal with all the things they are feeling, which mostly are firsts. Be someone they can talk to about their dreams and fears.
Teenage years are times when we start to spend money, go out with friends, stay up late, but not really. We taste a little bit of everything that an adult can, so teens turn to rebellion because they are not sure how to deal with wanting to have control but can’t. Teach them patience. Show them the advantages of being under the care of people who love and care for them for the meantime.
The key to preventing teen rebellion is communication. “By becoming aware of my feelings and expectations for my child, I was able to understand and question my belief system about what it means to be a good parent and what I really wanted for my child,” shares Dan Peters Ph.D.
As parents, you have the responsibility to be everything they need. Be there for your teen to provide them guidance, attention, acceptance, and security.